For most people in America, summer time means slower schedules, catching up with friends, lounging at the pool. But for the military wife it may mean packing up the house, saying goodbye to new friends and heading out for yet another adventure with her military man. A new state, a new town, a new house and the daunting task of starting over. Again.
Summertime moves don’t have to be the end of the world. They may be challenging, even stressful, but there are many ways to find fun and joy to make this season more tolerable. Here are a few ideas to get you started–then I’d like to hear what you do to bring joy into the midst of your military move. I’ve categorized my ideas under the acronym PCS–just for fun!
P:
Put furniture in a new place: for example–just because a certain dresser has always gone in your room doesn’t mean it won’t be happy in the living room at your new home re-purposed as a media cabinet. Be creative! Use the opportunity to decorate another house as an opportunity to express yourself in a new way!
Play! This last move wore me out physically and emotionally, so instead of trying to get everything unpacked and put away as soon as possible–which is what I usually do–I took my time (within reason). I made a game of it. Every time I finished my fourth box in a row, I’d give myself a reward. A snack, a chapter of a book, time on Facebook, you name it. It worked for me; and also very well for my ten year-old son who would rather play video games than unpack boxes!!
Pitch: We have a house rule; if we haven’t used something during a duty tour, we can’t move it. This helps me not only use the things that are special to me, but also to clean things out without remorse when it is time to move. I also learned during my last move, after 17 trips to Goodwill, that the best time to pitch things is before you move–not after you’ve had to unload it all at the new house!
C:
Cry: Yes! Cry! Moving causes stress and grief. If we don’t cry and let it out (especially as women) we can’t move through the grieving process. Now, as our pastor in Hawaii used to say, you can’t “pitch a tent and stay there!” Cry when you need to, empty your grieving bucket, and then keep moving forward. We didn’t become strong military spouses by pouting all the time. There is a balance. We need to acknowledge the grief for what it is, let it run its course and then keep marching forth!
Car Trips: an inevitable reality of the summertime move! We may dread them, but we can make them fun for our families. My brother-in-law tells wonderful stories of traipsing across the country with his brothers and sister and his mom and dad while they moved from station to station. If we play it right, we can make some wonderful memories during our car trip times. You can stop at the roadside fruit stands or check out the historical markers on the sides of the road. You can take a detour and see the Grand Canyon or drive Route 66 while you sing the song. And as tempting as it is to let the kids watch movies or play handhelds the whole way, I encourage you to be strong and have family time in the car. Talk about great memories you made at the last station and dream about what you want to do, see, explore at the new one. There are so many opportunities for family bonding–don’t pass it up!
S:
Start over: a move gives us military families something that many other people don’t get–the chance to start over; to recreate who we are; to become a better person. My husband and I always like to asses what we did well and fix what we’d like to do better at the next station. We start new habits, let go of bad ones and look at the move as an opportunity to be better people. If we didn’t explore the city and our surroundings at the last station–we make a point to at the new one. If we didn’t do many dinner parties, we try to plan more. If we were too involved in a church, club or activity, we take the move as an opportunity to re-asses our involvement and commitments. There is no better opportunity than now to make your lives better than they were!
Scout: Scout out all of the stuff to do in your new city–and then do it! Most people will live in a city all their lives and never take advantage of all the fun things available to them! Visit the museums (most have military discounts) and the mom & pop stores and restaurants. Go to the parks, take hikes, explore your new town. Make it your mission to scout out the best local ice cream, Italian or Mexican. Find the best deals, the best stores, the best exhibits! You won’t be bored and the sky is your limit!
Scrapbook: even if you lack creative layout abilities (like me), you can still have fun with your family by creating a scrapbook of all that you do and learn on your move or after you settle in. Create magical time with your kids now and for years to come by creating the scrapbook together and then sending it to your deployed warrior or reviewing it together for years to come.
Basically, my philosophy of life is this:
Bad stuff happens. Hard stuff comes our way. But if we can find ways to enjoy something during those harder moments, then by and by, those moments don’t seem so horrible. We can endure and be better for it.
Now it’s your turn! What are some of your best moving tips you can share with your military sisters who are in the process of packing up and moving on?!
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Wings for Women Conference for Military Spouses 