My mom is here for a visit. I love it when she comes because we get to catch up, play cribbage, have tea and go for a massage. Oh, and there is all the shopping, too. Special things that I do just with her. I love it.
Her visit got me to thinking this morning. For me, the toughest part of being a military family is being away from my extended family. There is something about the presence of cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. For me, even if it isn’t always good, my family is always there, always loves me (even when they “hate” me) and always makes sure I’m doing okay. That is a good, safe feeling.
The sense of family is important–it is grounding and safe. Family allows you to be you, to make mistakes and recover. Family loves unconditionally. These things are vital for a healthy, balanced life. Especially in the military.
How can we create that sense of family when our relatives are far away? This is something I’ve been talking to a lot of people about as we try to determine the best path for Wings to take. Here are some of the things I’ve come up with so far:
- Make a point to have dinner as a family (at the table without the TV) most nights of the week to create strong immediate family bonds
- Find someone in your community who can give you a “sister” kind of friendship–non-judgemental, encouraging, caring, unconditional love
- Find a mentor who can give you that “motherly” advice because she has been there and knows
- Be gentle, kind, non-judgemental and forgiving towards the military spouses around you a kind word and some forgiveness go a long way
I’d love to hear what kind of ideas you have for creating a sense of family with those who are around you. Please comment below.
Wings for Women Conference for Military Spouses 
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